Avenue R
by JillsPimp
Summary: A paradoy of Resident Evil and Avenue Q.


Avenue R (A Avenue Q/Resident Evil Paradoy)

Charectors - RE Replacement Princeton - Chris Redfield Kate Monster - Jill Valentine Treekie monster - Barry Burton Rod - Alfred Ashford Nicky - Jesse Pullins (Me JillsPimp)  
Gary - Albert Wesker Brian - Leon S. Kennedy Christmas Eve - Ada Wong Bad Idea Bears: The two spanish polize from the beginning of RE4 Lucy the slut: Claire Redfield

Thank you for reading my Paradoy of Resident Evil and Avenue Q. This is not like the broadway production, it has parts of the songs, and uses alot of the story, it's just modified for my taste and style, and to make it a funny story. Pull up a chair, grab a beer and sit down and have fun.

Leon walks out side his appartment carrying a bag of trash and drops it on the kurb. Jill walks up, in here usual fashion.

"How are you today Leon?" asked Jill.

"Well the secret service has just laied me off." said Leon with a frawn.

"Well thats to bad." said Jill.

"Yep." replied Leon.

"You know what?" asked Leon

"What?" asked Jill.

"We'll" replied Leon.

"Spit it out you blonde pretty boy!" said Jill a little frustrated.

"When I was a boy I dreamed of being a Late night comedian, but I have jsut turned thirty three." sang Leon.

Jesse came out of his apartment door in his boxers. He ran, and dropped kicked Leon. Jill backed up, not to get into any fight.

"Shut up." said Jesse getting up.

Leon held his stomach where Jesse had kicked him.

"Whats that for?" asked Leon.

I'm sleeping on the couch with my girlfriend, and your going to wake her." said Jesse walking back in the appartment shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah it sucks to be you Leon." said Jill walking to her house, laughing a little.

Chris walks down the street. Leon is still on the ground catching his breath.

"What you want?" asked Leon as Chris walked near.

"Well I started on Avenue A and all the apartment are expensive, but man these apartments look affordable." said Chris.

"Talk to Wesker if you want to rent one." said Leon.

"Wesker?" said Chris.

Wesker appeared from one of the buildings.

"Chris my arch enemy." said Wesker.

"Guys no fighting, you can't fight in the streets." said Leon.

Wesker and Chris readied to fight. Jesse appeared dressed in his black dress pants, his checkered/flamed shirt, and his detectives badge on. He ran over to Weskr and Chris who were about to fight. Jesse takes his hand, and uses them to slam Wesker and Chris's heads into each other. They both fell on the ground. Jesse walked over to his metallic dark emerald green 1967 Bullitt Mustang. He got in and rolled down the window.

"You guys better not get into any fight while I'm at work, or I'll take you to police station myself." said Jesse pelling tires and leaving. Chris and Wesker got up, gerring at each other.

"So you here to buy a apartment?" asked Wesker.

"Sure am." said Chris in a odd gay sounding perky voice.

"Well I can give you a 75 discount if you let me perform biohazardes experiments on you." said Wesker.

"No I'll pass." said Chris.

"Well then it'll be 200 dollars a month." said Wesker.

"Ok" replied Chris handing him two hundred dollars.

"Here you go." said Wesker handing Chris a big thing of keys.

"What are all these?" asked Chris.

"There all the keys fromt he mansion, and one of them is the apartment key." said Wesker with a evil laugh.

Wesker walked away and Chris started trying all the keys.

Later that evening In Jesse and Alfred's apartment.

"Hay Alfred we got a new guy at the station." said Jesse his leatunderarm holster off.

"Yeah yeah." replied Alfred looking threw Playgirl.

"He's gay." said Jesse.

Alfred sprang from his seat on the couch, letting the magazine drop to the floor.

"Tell me about him." said Alfred holding on to Jesse's arm.

"He'll be over for dinner, I told him you would entertain him." said Jesse.

"And what are you going to do?" asked Alfred.

"I'm going out with my girlfriend." said Jesse.

"I don't know how to cook." said Alfred.

"Throw some instant mac and chesse into the microwave and WALLA a meal." said Jesse.

Jesse then started to sing.

"If you were gay." sang Jesse.

"I am." said Alfred.

"Oh right." said Jesse

"Well to hell with the song." said Jesse, taking his badge off and slipping it in his pocket.

"What should I wear?" asked Alfred.

"Something skimpy." said Jesse in a joking tone from the bathroom.

Alfred ran into his bedroom.

Jesse came out to find Alfred dressed like the biker from The Village People.

"God save me!" yelled Jesse running to the door. Jesse slamed the door and headed for his car, so he could pick his girlfriend.

Alfred sat on the couch.

"It sucks to be me." said Alfred.

"Hay we didn't sing that today!" said Alfred furiously.

The door bell rang. Alfred got up to awnser it.

"Hi Jesse said to come over for dinner, your Alfred." said the cop looking him down from head to toe.

"I sure am." said Alfred pulling him in and slamming the door. Strange noises started to be heard from inside the apartment.

Over at Chris's apartment. Chris was still trying all the keys. Jill walks up.

"Let me help you." she said

She started to unlock the door with her lockpick. Chris looked her over, she was in her black mini skirt, and blue tang top.

"Want to go grab some coffe?" asked Jill opening the door she had just picked open.

"Sure" replied Chris. He closed the door, locking it again, and they walked down to the Round the Block CAFE'.

At the 'Round the Block' CAFE' sat Jill and Chris talkign about tactical manuvers and enterior design. Then came the Spanish Poliza. The two sat with Jill and Chris.

"Hay guys, mind if we sit with you?" asked Fred Poliza.

"No fine." said Jill

The waitress came.

"What do you want?" asked the waitress.

"We'll take 4 spiked coffe's." said Frankie Poliza.

Jill and Chris didn't hear the two Poliza, cause they were to caught up in talking about Interior design.

"Here you go." said the waitress bring the coffee.

Jill and Chris got drunk off the spiked coffee.

"Now go home and fuck her." said Frankie Poliza to Chris.

"Let him inside." said Fred Poilza to Jill.

Jill and Chris went back to Jill's apartment, cause Jill was to drunk to pick open his lock. They went to her bed, and got funky.

The next morning Chris woke up, naked in Jill's bed, and Jill woke up with a sore pussy.

"What happened last night?" asked Chirs.

"I think you pounded the FUCK OUT OF MY PUSSY." replied Jill. 


End file.
